January 1, 2014

So?

It looks like NOblogVEMBER turned into No-blog-December too. I'm just really bad at this whole blogging thing. But, so what? 

I'm not chasing after numbers or readers or followers or book deals. In fact, do you remember that book I said I was writing? It may or may not happen (and by that, I mean it won't). And so what? 

When there are 29 million people enslaved in this world, 153 million orphans, and 780 million people without access to clean water, who cares if I write a book that a handful of people may or may not read? I don't! Writing a book isn't really my dream. Not that book at least. 

Sometimes I think that it's easy to get caught up in doing all the things. When all the people are living all the dreams, you just want to jump in there and grab a piece of it! But then you wake up one day and realize you've said too much too soon and fear grips you as you wonder if anyone will notice if you just never do what you said you would. Maybe you can just slink away silently without attracting attention and they will forget. 

But so what if you had an idea and then changed your mind? So what if your heart shifted and your soul is restless for something else? 

So? 

This place, this time, this season of my life is not meant to be spent with a laptop writing about my struggles with my body. 

I know this. 

I am meant to be finger painting with my kiddos. So what if it makes a mess! 

I am meant to be loving the people around me with a selfless, unending, sacrificial love. So what if it's hard! So what if I get hurt! 

I am meant to be serving the aching hearts of mothers mourning their babies. So what if it breaks my heart daily! 

I am meant to be screaming into the megaphone, raising awareness and doing whatever it is that I can to set the oppressed free! I am meant to be an abolitionist! So what if I don't know what I'm doing or how to make a difference in this space! 

I am meant to be telling the world of God's love and the sacrifice of Christ on the cross for them! For you! So what if I am ridiculed or persecuted! 

am meant to be surrendering my life to my God, no matter where He calls! So what if that's scary! 

Isn't it scarier not to? 

I've spent my entire life not doing things. I'm that kind of girl. I can always find a reason why not to. But this year? 2014? I'm done with excuses. And when I tell myself and others why not, I want to look at my soul and say, "So?" 

So what of it gets messy or hard or scary or crazy or it hurts? So? Life will go on as long as God grants me breath in my lungs and if I want to live the life He wants me to live, I've got to stop laying on and clinging to the balance beam and I've got to stand up and do a dance! 

But I might fall....

So?

"So?" is my One Word for 2014. What is your word this year? Go to oneword365.org for more information. 


7 comments:

  1. GIRL!!! This is awesome! Just gonna share a couple things here. Sorry ahead of time if I write a blog post for your blog post! Ha! 1)You need to read Preemptive Love by Jeremy Courtney. Totally a different cause, but such a picture of, as he says, "Love first. Ask questions later." 2)You need to listen to any sermon from my church preached by our sr. pastor, Lon Solomon (or listen at 12 eastern on Sundays on Sirius XM The Message). Every one we all ask -out loud - So What? It's even the name of the radio program. What does it all mean? Without meaning, then what's the point? You expressed my feelings so perfectly by saying that you you don't know what you are doing or how to do it, but you just do. That is so me.
    Love your great big ole heart!!!

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  2. YES! So much of this is my heart. Yea, I did write a book this year, but it's all in vain if God doesn't get the glory and lives are not changed. I am making more an an effort this year to turn my attention to social justice issues. My prayer is that God would open my eyes and show me where and how to be involved. Hugs!

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  3. That'll preach!!! Love this!!! If it's okay with you I may find myself asking myself... "So?"

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  4. I love this... and you... and pie. But that is for another day... (or IS IT!??!!)
    I missed you, clearly.

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  5. So? Go for it! May God bless you in all you put your hands to in 2014.

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  6. Thanks! I needed to stumble across this today....

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