October 31, 2013

Random Thoughts: Day 31



Day 31.

I made it!

I successfully wrote something, anything, in this space, every day this month. All 31 days of it.

It wasn't always profound. It wasn't always pretty. But the truth if it is, there is something in the showing up. There is something beautiful and important and I feel good about just being here.

And isn't that life? Is that not the way it works in our relationships? Our marriages? Friendships? With our children?

31 Days has been a month long analogy of my life. It was hard, and so many days I wanted to throw in the towel. Some days got more of me than others. Somedays I barely got by. But each and every day, I came. I wrote. I persevered.

I didn't give up because I knew that it wasn't about me or the words that I wrote or even if anyone was reading them. This was about being a part of something bigger than me. This was about a commitment I made to myself and to the Internet.

If I can't keep a promise to the Internet, then who can I keep a promise to? If I'm so easily willing to give up on this, what makes me think I won't give up on everything else in my life?

October is ending much differently than it started; much differently than I anticipated it to end. It's been a hard month, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. But I've learned a lot this month. About myself. About my blog. About my God.

To anyone and everyone who read any of these sometimes ridiculous and inane posts this month, thank you. Thank you for listening to me talk about nothing. Thank you for not unfollowing my blog because of that. Thank you for being a part of one of my most profound life lessons.

I said at the beginning of this all that my hope was to get into the habit of blogging more. Ironically, I will be participating in what a few of my sweet Twitter friends are calling #Noblogvember. For the month of November, I will be writing only with pen and paper in my journal as I decompress and unpack all that God has been showing me this month. I, of course, reserve the right to go against everything I just said and blog at any time should I feel moved to. But my official statement is that I'm taking the month off. You can still find me over at Keystone Ministry on Thursdays, and occasionally on Tuesdays at Hope Mommies.

I am tired. I feel completely incapable of stringing words together to form sentences let alone sentences to form paragraphs. 31 days broke me. It broke my brain and my words and God used it to break me for Him.

As we move into the month of Thanksgiving, I will be thankful for all God has shown me this month. But I will be even more thankful that 31 Days is over. I'll see you in December.

Anchored in Christ's Eternal Hope,

Kelly

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