April 16, 2013

Breathe

It's quiet in the house. A rare moment.

When nap time collides with reading time and I throw on a sweater to escape to the porch. Except the porch is shaded so I crawl onto the walkway to feel the warmth of the sun on my face.

I need the air. I need the heat warming my back. I need to feel the cool spring breeze brush my skin.  


For a moment, in this moment, I can breathe. 

It's only a matter of time before life will summon me. Nap time will end or someone will get thirsty. But for a few solitude moments...it's freedom. It's rest. 

And sure enough, I all too soon hear the cry of a babe and motherhood calls me out of the sun and into the house. It may have only lasted a few minutes, but that was all my soul needed to recharge.

A gift.

A blessing.

I often pass up opportunities in my day to take a moment for myself. I see these small chunks of time as an opportunity to fold a load of laundry, scrub a shower, or return a phone call. With so much to do, how could I possibly pass up a few child-free minutes to accomplish a task or two?

The past few days weeks I've been struggling to keep it together most days. By nightfall, I am broken and beaten and I am anything but pretty to be around. I NEED a break. But there is so much to do. How selfish of me to want to just take a few minutes for myself! But what I realized today, as I felt the suns rays wrap around me, is that I was selfish alright!

I was selfish for thinking that I could do it all. I was selfish for clinging to my pride instead of admitting that I needed help. I was selfish for choosing impatience and frustration and yelling over a few minutes to myself.

Even Jesus needed to get away from it all. He hopped in a boat to escape the crowds. He retreated to the garden to be alone and pray. We NEED to take time for ourselves. It is part of who God created us to be.

On the seventh day, He rested.

Remember the Sabbath and keep it Holy.

When did we as mothers get the idea that we were exempt from needing rest?

So if when you're feeling tired, and weary, and like you just need a break, take a few minutes to just get away from it all. Better yet, schedule time for yourself before you feel like you're going to break.

Maybe it's a trip to the gym, lunch with a friend, a drive in the car with the windows down and the music blaring. Maybe it's just a long, hot shower when you don't have to rush.

Make time for yourself. Take care of yourself. It's ok. It's more than ok. It's what you need. What you're kids need. When you are well, you are so much more capable to love and serve your family.


So get in that boat, mama! Go find yourself a garden to retreat to!

Find the air, and breathe.





4 comments:

  1. Oh girl!! I get this - I know this. This need to breathe when you feel as if the weight of life presses too close and the air becomes thick with weary... so glad that you found some space in the sun yesterday - praying friend that God will point in the direction of rest and that you will harken to its call...

    And on a completely unrelated note: Umm... can I just say you are the best person in the world for introducing me to Biscoff!! Love you!

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  2. beautiful moment of breathing. thanks for sharing.

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  3. Oh thank you Kelly! You, once again, have written right to the depths of my heart. This seems to be revelation I have to come to every couple months...I get caught back up in the "run yourself ragged" method of mother/wife-hood & then have a moment where I remember I can't GIVE my best if I'm not at my best. Thanks for sharing your heart!

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  4. Ah yes... I will say - it gets easier! There will be more moments that you can steal away or even plan ahead for when the littles are not so little! It is so good to be discovering this now though - while they ARE still small! For if you take great care of YOU first... you take better care of them! It's not really selfish as much as it is wisdom and grace!

    Love you sweet friend! Breathe deep...
    ~K~

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